I Went To A Funeral

 

Have you ever been in a social situation and done the most inappropriate? I swear, whenever I'm suffering from depression, send me to a funeral and I'll be laughing uncontrollably. I wish I could say it's a one-off, but not so. My wife and I have now agreed that I must sit in the church's last row for any future gatherings.

My wife's friend's brother had his funeral yesterday. I didn't know this, but even though only 65 at his passing, he was a hero to his younger sister and brother. When 12, his Dad was beating on Mom and made Dad leave. He became Dad from that day forward. Needless to say, a hell of a guy.

But wife and I are early for the service and I didn't know the backstory. The church service was in a Korean church that once was for honkies and absorbed the honkies into their congregation. So the mother of the deceased was still a member, hence services at this old church.

Before the opening ceremonies, the pastor stands before the decorated urns at the altar. He bows his head for quite a while. He's Korean, so cynical me, the longer he's bowing his head, the more he's thinking "ca-ching", more coins he has to put in the slot machine. Horrible stereotype, but the day before I was at Pechanga.

Then the service starts and another Korean comes and sings a song solo. A bit off key. Again, cynical me, I'm thinking this is his 1st cousin, getting $200 for the gig.

Sorry, but I begin to laugh (quietly), bend over and hide my face in my hands. It's so bad that my body is heaving. Hopefully all those behind me think I'm sobbing. If someone came and punched me out, I would not have blamed them in the least. Again, I feel so bad about it, it's just something I can't control.

But here's a thought I have about funerals that make sense to me: For us to go to the funeral (which we did to honor this wonderful person ((and his wife died 18 days after he died)), we drove quite a distance, and of course had to drive home after. I don't mean to be impersonal, but funerals should be like banking or shopping--online. Do a Zoom set up, everyone check in and go from there. Somehow even have a virtual taco-truck. The best part is you'd get away from this fake religious pomposity/formality and get to the remembrance of the actual person who died. (I went to one funeral and the preacher after talking about how Jesus died for your sins, was one step away from doing an alter call.)